13 of the worlds whackiest wellness trends

The global wellness industry is estimated to be worth $1.5 trillian dollars – and it grows steadily every year. At some point in our lives we have all seen or heard of some whacky new claim that’ll help us to drop a few pounds, reverse a few decades of wrinkles or cure a few aches and pains without having to move a muscle or eat a single grain of quinoa. The wellness industry, with its barrage of influencers and celebrities, has swooped in ready to make a fast buck from our pursuit of perfection and our ceaseless desire to uncover the magic elixir for all of our ailments. And worse yet, it seems that no claim is too outrageous, no product too outlandish and no price tag too high for the secret sauce they are selling us.

Here are some of the strangest wellness fads of this decade. We will start with some that will make you smile and perhaps even have you on board, and ease you in gently to a whole new world of weird:

1) Otonamaki

This Japanese practice shot to fame after being featured on a Japanese TV show. It involves being swaddled like a baby in a huge breathable sheet. The concept supposedly treats stress and anxiety by imitating the sense of comfort and familiarity of being in the womb. It is also claimed to improve sleep, back pain and helps to regain flexibility. People will pay from £20 for 20 minutes to be cocooned in a bedsheet and rocked gently from side to side.

2) Cow Cuddling

For just $75 per hour in upstate New York you can head to a farm to give a cow a cuddle. Cow cuddling or ‘koe knuffelen’ is also popular in the Netherlands. Watch out goat yoga, there’s a new farm animal in town. Cows all the rave right now for stress relief, loneliness, grief counselling and just general heart warming… where can I sign up?

3) Hay bathing

Because if hugging a farm animal isn’t for you, you can become one instead. Started by the Dolomites, hay bathing is the practice of lying on a damp pile of hay. It is suggested that hay bathing is Mother Natures very own pain relief solution after the farmers would sleep on it and claim that the herb enriched grass would help them to recover quickly from a hard days work.

4) Oxygen Bars :

Because why go to a bar and pay for alcohol when you could go to a bar and pay for… air? Regular air is just so #basic. Kudos to the marketing team on this one for being able to convince people that despite oxygen being all around us, for free, they could bottle up better air for us to inhale. The ‘purified 02’ fed to people via a nostril tube is said to boost energy, combat chronic fatigue and relieve headaches. Quite frankly, I was scared to look at how much a shot of oxygen costs at one of these places.

5) Phone Bed

For just $100 you can give your digital bestie a cosy place to sleep at night. Having your mobile phone closeby on your bedside table is undeniably a way to sabotage your sleep, but I’m not sure tucking it up in its own King Size and reading it a bedside story is 100% necessary. How about leaving it in another room and using an old fashioned (and cheaper) alarm clock? Problem solved.

And now for the weird. Saddle up guys, its about to get interesting:

6) Bum bathing

Influencer Metaphysical Meagan proved that there’s a reason that the sun don’t shine where the sun don’t shine when she caused a stir with the concept of perineum sunning. The naked image of her mooning the sun was captioned with the explanation that the Taoist practice creates a surge of energy, encourages better sleep and forges a better connection to sexual energy and deeper connection to life force. Perhaps reconsider it on your holiday this year, since experts have clarified that it is just a fast track to a sunburn.

7) Psychic Vampire Spray

When it comes to dodgy health fads Gwyneth Paltrow is the gift that keeps on giving. The wellness company ‘Goop’ for which she is CEO, has already been sued in a high profile lawsuit (but more on that later), and she really is a pioneer for dubious products that you won’t believe really exist, including this Vampire Spray. For £28 the 3.4oz bottle of god knows what (according to Goop it is sonically charged water, love, reiki and gem elixirs) claims to conjure up positivity and shield you from those who emotionally drain you aka energy vampires. We don’t know how she managed to bottle up all that love and reiki, but somehow it is one of Goop’s most beloved products.

8) Coffee Colon Cleanse

Guru Gwyn strikes again. Though we know that coffee can often have a laxative effect, most people usually like to take it in the traditional way – in a mug. Goop on the other hand suggests that for $135 you can inject it into your rectum to stimulate your bowel movements. The coffee enema is part of a full detox kit people can administer themselves at home without medical supervision. So while McDonalds were famously sued and obligated to specify that their coffee is hot on every cup, Gwyneth is somehow getting away with telling people to put it up their… needless to say, I know something else that is full of you know what.

9) Vaginal Steaming

Now she really is blowing smoke up our…

Paltrow was recently criticized for encouraging women to cleanse their uterus with infrared and mugworm steam in order to balance the feminine hormones. Unfortunately women heeded her scientifically spurious advice and wound up with severe burns. Medical professionals have since warned against the practice stating that it could upset the delicate PH balance and actually encourage infections to thrive, but despite the constant debunking of 'Goop approved' health hacks, the reach of the million dollar company and its celebrity mastermind is still so great that they continue to put out their magazines, hold ludicrously expensive lifestyle events and even ended up with their own Netflix show!

10) Jade Eggs

And the holy grail of Gwyneth faux pas- the Jade Egg. Given the success of her last dabble with gynecology, once again Paltrow decided to defy the laws of science but this time wound up with a hefty $145,000 lawsuit. Goop were sued for unsubstantiated claims that the up to £60 Jade Egg and Rose Quartz egg could do everything from fixing hormone levels, healing vaginal prolapses and helping to regain bladder control. Medical professionals debunked the product explaining that stones are porous and therefore impossible to clean, making them a breeding ground for bacteria and potentially harmful when inserted. Goop’s insights were found to be unsubstantiated by that overrated thing called…science. The whole debacle shed light on the predatory nature of the wellness industry which for too long has been marketing without appropriate medical backing, preying on the public’s pain with promises of healing with not only false information but also potentially damaging solutions with a hefty price tag.

Though we could go on and on about Goop and their $250million altruism, we’ll leave Gwyn alone for the next few, but I invite you to check out the Goop website if you want to go down the rabbit hole and explore the “bible of Hollywood neuroticism”. Now back to the list.

11) Bee sting facial

Disclaimer- no bees were harmed (apparently the venom can be extracted without killing the bees). There is some scientific grounding for this one showing the skin being tricked into believing it has been stung with the toxin melittin, stimulates blood flow to the area and the production of the naturally occurring chemicals collagen and elastin which gives the appearance of fuller and younger skin. However, Heaven CEO Deborah Mitchell has gone as far as to say that her £75 Bee Venom face cream doesn’t just make the skin younger but it also “repositions the skull and jaw, helping to realign the rest of the body, releasing tension and improving posture”, a big claim for a tiny tub. The bee venom treatment was also said to reduce the effects of MS, something that the MS Trust has spoken up against, warning sufferers that clinical trials have shown no notable differences in those who received this treatment. There is simply not enough substantial scientific evidence to prove the efficacy of the pricey venom.

12) Placenta Pills

In recent years celebrity and influencer mums have gushed about the wonderful effects of consuming their placenta in pill form. Injesting the placenta is said to have health benefits for both mother and newborn as well as preventing post-partum depression. Companies offer to convert the placenta and transform it into a capsule for up to £250. But before you ship off your afterbirth, experts have warned that these companies and the practise of popping placenta pills are not FDA approved; there is no guarantee that the placenta has been handled appropriately or heated at the appropriate temperature to eradicate any viruses it may contain. One newborn was even hospitalised after an infection that was found to be linked with a bacteria in the mothers placenta pills. While studies do not support the claims that consuming the placenta produces any significant health benefit, plenty of health professionals warn of the risks of doing so.

13) Penis Facial

Last, but definitely not least… the Foreskin Facial. We really do live in a bizarre world. So get this, the discarded foreskins of newborn babies in Korea were taken, EGF (epidermal growth factor cells) were extracted from them and cloned, and a £450 facial concocted. Celebs like Sandra Bullock (who gave it the nickname ‘penis facial’), Oprah and Cate Blanchett swear by the anti-aging serum. Something to do with the young cells activating ageing cells … whatever the explanation, I think I’ll take the wrinkles.